Pearl of Wisdom No.84 - Live like Spring

If you want a fresh, brand new, shiny feeling when you go about your days (and who doesn't want to feel this way right?) then embracing this season is the key to success!

But what exactly does it mean to live like...Spring?!

Through her looking glass - Jemma Andrew-Adiamah

Today I want to introduce you to a lady who's blog I have totally fallen in love with this year, we share the same passions and are inspired by the same people, her blog is on my must reads list each week and I know you will love her too!

Through her looking glass... Heather Von St James

Heather and her daughter Lilly

  Apart from feeling really cross with myself for not getting this post up last week, I am delighted to introduce you to a lady who I know you will feel just as amazed and inspired by as I am. Heather Von St James is a true survivor and I have had the pleasure to get to know her a little over the last few weeks, Heather contacted me asking if I could help raise awareness of Mesothelioma and the use of Asbestos, Heather lives in America where it is still currently legal to use asbestos which is the cause of the illness she has suffered and fought after being given only 15 months to live. Her story is truly an inspiration and you can read more here

 

Heather has kindly agreed to share her more about her life and her wisdom and is next person to be featured in my  "Through Her Looking Glass.." series, I hope you enjoy today's interview.

Question 1

How do you start your day? Can you tell us more about the first 3 things you have to do to get your day started? 

It depends on the day of the week. On the days my husband works, I get to wake him up at 5:55 am, and then crawl into bed until 7:30. On days he doesn't work, I stay in bed until 7:30 and I then get my kiddo up, love on the dogs and cats. I usually snuggle the kiddo for awhile, then crawl out of bed and start the day. The next thing is, I make beeline to the Keurig coffee maker to brew a strong cup of coffee. I can't function until I have that first sip of steaming coffee. After dropping Lily off at school, I generally take a trip to Starbucks.  That is a typical start to my day. 

Question 2

Share your favourite piece of wisdom and why it means something to you.

''Life is a banquet, and most poor suckers are starving to death"  It is a quote from my favorite movie, Auntie Mame.  I like it so much I had it tattooed on my left arm- it covers pretty much my entire arm. It really embodies what I think about life. So many people get caught up in the petty small things, that they don't see all that life has to offer them! I take joy in everything. I feel and embrace all my emotion- I laugh, I cry, I love life. I try not to let the trivial things bother me because in the big picture does it really matter if Starbucks messed up my order? No, it's just coffee and can be fixed. It is the way I approach everything. 

Question 3

What is your go to thing for comfort when it all gets to much? 

My bedroom and my bed. It is my refuge. We recently remodeled our bedroom and made it a lovely, airy room. I have a huge, king size bed and I love expensive sheets. When I am having a down day, (yes, they do happen!) I crawl in bed and turn on something funny on TV. I find I usually feel better after awhile.

Question 4

Who are the women that inspire you?

Number one is my Mom. She is one of the most wise, strong, and loving women I know. I admire everything about her. She is who she is because of her tremendous faith. I strive to be more like her. She has a heart as big as all outdoors and is the best role model I could ever ask for. I'm truly blessed to have her as my mom.

Linda Reinstein from The Asbestos Disease awareness Organization is another woman whom I admire to no end. She lost her husband to mesothelioma 8 years ago, and has made it her life's mission to educate people on the dangers of asbestos. She is a mighty powerhouse and am so honored to call her friend. 

Question 5

How do you see yourself and what makes up your sense of identity?  

I wear many hats. But what doesn't change is the person wearing those hats.  I'm a mom. a wife, a survivor, a motivator and inspiration.. I love to help people and really want to make a difference.  My sense of identity ? Hmm.. physically it is my hair, and my tattoos.. I have the trademark white faux hawk, and both arm covered in colorful tattoos.. But what sets me apart is probably my quiet confidence and my ability to tell the truth to people. What you see with me is what you get.. I have no hidden agenda.. but there will always be a part of me that still sees the awkward 8th grader who was a little overweight, had crooked teeth and bad hair when I look in the mirror.. I sometimes surprise myself at what looks back. I'm a bit of a goofball, and try not to take things too seriously. I'm an optimist, and I think that shines through in all I do, 

Question 6

Do you have a favourite dish or recipe that makes you feel good or gives you a much needed boost?

My dad used to make this stuff called sauerkraut bread. It sounds horrible but it is soooo good. You take bread dough, roll it out into a big circle, and on the inside, spread sauerkraut and Italian sausage mixed together, add salt and pepper, roll it up and then bake it. My dad recently passed away, so I need to learn to make it if I ever want it again. 

Question 7

What's challenging you right now?

Dealing with the loss of my Dad. It's still so fresh. He passed away on February 27th, the day after his birthday. He was only 71. He was diagnosed with clear cell renal carcinoma back in November during a surgery to fuse some vertebrae. By the time they found the cancer, it was everywhere. He went very fast, and for that I am thankful, but wow I miss him. There is a huge hole in my life. Everyday is a new emotion surrounding his loss. I'm learning how to deal with it, and I know it will get easier. I do know I'm relieved he is no longer suffering. My dad was loved by many, many people, and I will always cherish those last days that we got to spend together. I was with him, holding his hand when he passed away.

Question 8 

Tell us more about your latest or next project.

Right now, Asbestos Awareness Week is going on, and I am inviting people to donate their social media status to help bring about awareness. Asbestos is still NOT banned in the US and is being imported and used every day. It is so dangerous and causes such suffering. There needs to be stricter regulations on the substance and an all and all ban. That is going on right now.

As far as other future projects, I'm thinking of a book. It is something that has been in the back of my mind for a few years, and perhaps this is the year I decide to actually do it. 

 

You can find out more about Mesothelioma and read Heather's blog at Mesothelioma.com

You can also connect with Heather on Twitter and Google+ and her Facebook page

If you want to know more about Mesothelioma and live in the UK then do check out the Mesothelioma UK website 

 

 I'd love to hear your thoughts on today's post and Heather's courageous story so do leave a comment below! 

Tuesday Moment of Wisdom - Pearl number 69

When I was 19 I got a job in London nannying for a very posh family in St Johns Wood, their former nanny was Australian and she was leaving to return home, she was there to show me ropes on my first week and at the end of it she invited me to go out with her friends at a near by Mexican restaurant. I was so pleased she had asked me, I knew no one in London and was quite shy back then, I was excited to get out and be social and hopefully make some new friends.We met all her friends at the restaurant they all seem so much cooler and confident than me and I was totally taken in, I remember sitting there feeling very small, no one really spoken to me apart from the odd polite thing, every so often the Australian nanny would smile at me or comment to me but of course she was busy having fun with her friends, anyway I liked listening to their conversation, learning about their lives and felt like I they could become my people and hoped that I would fit in at some point.At the end of the meal they started talking about where to go next, what pub or club would be good that night and I thought to myself maybe with the meal out the way I could start to relax and join in a bit more, we all settled the bill and everyone got up to leave and then the Australian nanny turned to me and said "Well, were all heading off to somewhere else now so I'll see you in the morning...." OH! I thought, I'm not invited along to the next part, I mumbled a sad goodbye and walked home by myself feeling disappointed that it hadn't gone well then and a bit sad that no one really like me, obviously I was too quiet and boring, why would they want me hanging around, I felt very lost and lonely in that big city.A month later still feeling lost and lonely, not having any confidence and not knowing where to meet people in a place that was completely alien to me I left and moved on. I look back at that experience now and still feel disappointed, but not by myself this time but at the attitude of all the people around me, I may not have been a super experienced, larger than life person with lots of witty or impressive stories to tell but I was a sweet person who was kind and thoughtful who was open minded and wanted to explore the world, meet as many different people as I could and was up for, well most things yet no one gave me a chance, based on a 45 minute meeting where everyone knew each other and I knew no one, was a bit younger and a bit quite they decided I was not good enough to get to know and that is certainly how it felt.Now I'm pleased to say that life is different, I'm of course much more confident with who I am and find it easier to connect with people because of this. I am sure of what I stand for, have faith in my identity and have the kind of you either like me or you don't attitude, I happy and comfort le with this.I do tend to surround myself with my kind of people however I do try to reach out to however crosses my path because after all you never know who may turn out to be your kind of person. I talk to so many women though who continue to go through similar situations and at all stage of life, mums who can't fit in at their local toddler group or at the school gates or someone who start a new jobs, a women who has moved to a new town or someone who joins a club but finds the self is left out. Women all over are facing isolation and are being excluded, because they are new, or young, or don't wear the right clothes, or have the wrong postcode, because they look different, sound different or have a different background, because they are shy or because they talk too much the list is endless it seems.I've been that girl, it sucks and it's upsetting when people judge you first hand and no one give you a chance to show your true colours or find a common ground. I remember how it felt as a 19 year old and I know that people of 69 still face this situation.  “Be genuinely interested in everyone you meet and everyone you meet will be genuinely interested in you” ― Rasheed OgunlaruToday's Pearl of Wisdom is about stepping outside your friendship box, pushing your friendship boundaries and inspiring all of us to say Hi to someone we wouldn't normally connect to, maybe the newbie at work or baby group, maybe the neighbour who moved in a couple of weeks ago or the one who has been there for years. The person you stand next to at the bus stop, the mum you see at the school gates on her own or someone you are introduced to for the first time, ask them a question, try and find a common ground, you can never have to many friends to connect to in life and you never know how much your connection with them might mean in their life.I would love to hear your stories on friendship, if you've has a similar experience or if you have met someone who you didn't to expect to become a friend tell me about it below!

Monday's Moment of Wisdom - Guest Pearl Number 48

"A strong, positive self-image is the best possible preparation for success in life".

 - Dr. Joyce Brothers

To some, the impact of fashion or simply what you are wearing, on your self-confidence may seem incredibly shallow. But I think the older I get the more I realise actually how important your self-image is on your self-confidence. Through my own experiences, dressing confidently in the morning has made a huge difference to my self-esteem.

It doesn't become about what I'm wearing, it becomes about the confidence it gives me and what this added confidence allows me to do. Lately, I've discovered that the impact of a renewed sense of self-confidence has opened up new opportunities. So where does this start? In your wardrobe.

One of the most therapeutic things you can do is go through your wardrobe and have a huge clear out. Think about the style you want to have. There is no reason why you can't have it, you just need the confidence to put it together. 

Start by categorising your clothes into the following 6 piles:

1. DEFINITE KEEPERS

Pieces you know work for you. Fit you well and in good condition.

2. SEASONAL

Put away in a box all the high season pieces. We're going into Autumn now so you could start thinking about putting the high summer pieces away. I always have a drawer for 'holiday wear' too. Bikinis, beach cover-ups, shorts, flip-flops...remember it's not like you're never going to see them again, they're just in a box.

3. CHARITY/SELL

Pieces that are too big/small but in good condition. Wash and either pass onto charity or car boot sales are a great place to sell unwanted clothes. I remember once I made a couple of hundred pounds in an hour and half just selling old clothes, bags and shoes (there was ALOT of it!)

4. ALTERATIONS

Those trousers that you have never had taken up or that dress that just needs a dry clean? Pop it  that pile and take it all at the same time to get sorted. Instant additions to your wardrobe!

5. ARCHIVE

Pieces that you can't bear to be parted with but no longer wear.

6. MAYBE

The worst pile of all and will probably end up being the largest! You have to be really strong and really honest when dealing with this one. When judging each item, take the time to think about how it really looks on you. Does it fit properly? Is it faded? Is it in good condition? Even if this feels ruthless, I promise, it will be more rewarding to have 'gaps' to fill in your wardrobe than have something filling space. It's these gaps that make shopping and dressing so much easier.

 

Once you've dealt with all of that you should have a great selection of clothes that you can proudly hang/fold. You'll probably also see different outfits that go together that you would never have thought of before. Now you can dress in the style you want and identify gaps where you can add to your selection - making shopping alot easier.

When Karen asked me to write a post to "Inspire/Dream" I knew I wanted to write about confidence through style because it's something I truly believe in. I hope I've inspired to you take a critical eye to your wardrobe and go on to shop and dress with just a little bit more confidence.

My Pollyanna is a fashion and lifestyle blog to inspire confidence through style. Read more on the blog about how to put together styles that make you feel the best you can be.