Feel Good Friday - Pet Power

We are big animal lovers in our house, in fact I suspect that my husband actually prefers them to people, he can't bear to watch the ending of Marley and Me, bless him!

We have two cats which became our furs babies when I was around 6 months pregnant with LC (we had gotten a kitten the year before who was sadly ran over just before her first baby, at this point I was 16 weeks pregnant and couldn't stop crying, I actually got sent home from work and was allowed 3 days off - that's hormones for ya!) These cats (our boy cat as a kitten above) have grown up with our family and are a big part of it, however they are not such big fans of Miss LC, I can remember their little faces when we bought her home from the hospital looking at us as if t say "WTF???" God knows how they will feel when it happens all over again in 7 weeks time, the OH is convinced they'll be sat by the front door with their little cat bags packed, with a house move happening in 3 weeks too I'm sure I will have two grumpy cats on my hands - eek!

Anyway, over the last 4 years that we've had these sweet moggies in our life they have become very precious companions to us all and despite their distaste towards LC they have have been a massive part of how she has developed and learnt.

A few years ago the Cats Protection League conducted some research with the Mental Health Foundation which showed how having a cat as a pet had a significant and positive impact on the owners mental health. Last year Time magazine reported on how having a pet could possibly lower your risk of heart disease too.

Here are some more good reasons why being a pet owner is good for your well being

•  Owning a pet helps with low mood and loneliness through companionship.
•  Encourages healthy lifestyle - walking your dog, horse riding, cleaning out a cage.
•  Helps develops senses that can lower stress from stroking, walking, even talking to them! 
•  Sense of responsibility and routine, having a pet puts structure in your day, positive for your well being and sense or purpose.

Here's my friends cuddly companions

 We've also found that as parents having our two kitties has helped us to teach and encourage LC to have compassion, thoughtfulness of others and about death too. As a toddler we showed her how to pet them carefully and be mindful of their space, now that she is older we get her involved with caring for them, she likes to get involved with feeding and combing.

Lastly, because we live next door to a diary farm, we get a constant stream of "presents"! Some are alive, which sees us running round the house at all times of the day or night trying to rescue mice, voles and birds, but we also get a lot of dead critters, mostly mice outside the front door. We have always been honest with LC about it, a very wise lady once told me not to tell her they were sleeping as this can make her frightened of bed time, so with out going in to too much detail we simply told her they were dead, no longer alive. Being little she just accepted this ans so when her Grandma's dog and Auntie's cat died last year she wasn't unfamiliar with what this meant and could grasp why they were no longer there. And so when my Grandmother passed away in April she wasn't scared by what had happened and understood why she wouldn't see her again. Recently she was in my mum's garden and they found a dead bird and she pointed it out to my mum who wasn't sure quite what to say to LC, "It's dead Granny!" she chimed, my mum agreed and when LC asked her what they were going to do with it my told her that her OH would bury it in the garden to which sweet Miss LC replied "Just like we buried Great Gran!" My poor mum didn't know what to say and just laughed, especially as my Grandmother was cremated! It just goes to show though that by having animals in our life from an early age we begin to understand and accept the cycle of life sooner which I think makes it more easier to handle as we grow older.

Now you could be reading this and be thinking "Well Karen that's all lovely and good but I don't have the time/money/space to be a pet owner!" - well, no problem, borrow a pet! You can do this through local services like this one  or this could simply be taking a friends dog for a walk, agreeing to feed Great Aunt Ethels budgie while she's on holiday or maybe spend some time at your local animal rescue centre as a volunteer, there are so many possibilities for you to boost your well being with some pet power!

So I want to know, do you have a pet that helps boost your well being?
What are your thoughts on pets and children?
Would borrowing a pet help you?

Share in the comments below!

5 things Im doing more of this month

The other day I was in London (yes, very exciting for a work at home mum living in Somerset!) at a conference, I finished there a few hours before I was due to get my train so made the most of my time and went shopping. I found something gorgeous for LC as a present and proceeded to pay for my item. Whilst browsing in the shop one of the assistance had given me a discount voucher to use at the check out so I handed it over. "Oh of course!" Said the lady behind the till looking at the voucher "It's September now!" She started to discount the item and then turned to me and said "This is my month you know" I knew exactly what she meant and said rather excitedly "It's my month too!" She then followed this with a "Ahhh high five girl!" and put her hand up. I very awkwardly high fived her with my lack of social un-coolness and we then discussed dates, star signs and ages, I also mentioned that my little LC was also sharing this month with us and that the item I was buying would be a birthday present and left with a little happy smile on my face!

So, lovely September, my month, you are finally here! You are set to be filled with joy, a tinge of sadness (my due date was the 12th) a lot of champagne in honour of all things wedding like and some really good memories made I hope and so with out further ado here is more of what I will be doing this month...

Enjoying the ride - September is going to be a busy one, multiple birthdays - LC's is planned to be extra special (do look out for a future Pearl that will detail of the loveliness of her day!) Mine will be well, dull as ditch water, I'm spending the day on my own! (I'm just trying to make you feel sorry for me, but still!) Hen parties, Weddings, lunch and brunch dates and various other meet ups with friends, we literally haven't a day spare! Sounds hectic eh? Well my fabulous fertility specialist is working with me to just chill, not get caught up in craziness and just be present each moment and enjoy it for what it is. Practicing the art of mindfulness is so helpful for this and you can do it too by using a mediation track to listen to, here are some tracks I found on YouTube similar to mine.
Track 1
Track 2
Track 3

Looking after my skin - with the change in seasons I'm aware that my skin and completion need a bit more care once the weather changes, through the summer it's really brightened up and because I have really cut down on dairy in the last month my completion has got so much clearer, I want to keep looking my best once the temperature drops so I will be drinking lots of water still although I like the comfort of a hot drink in Autumn so Green Tea is a good alternative, try it with lemon, cranberries or my current favourite grapefruit, so refreshing! Keeping up with my Vitamin E intake by eating almonds which packed full of antioxidants too, healthy fats and an instant energy boost! With all the partying I have to look forward to I also need to make sure I get in some early nights! I also asked some ladies in the know of all things beauty and this is what they recommended:
Emma who tweets at @CymruEm said "I swear by Estee Lauder Advanced Night Repair serum for anti-aging. I swear it keeps me looking youthful"
Lauren who tweets at @Laurenbakerblog told me "I've been recommending Raw Gaia Floral Rejuvenating Cream with Dr Organic virgin coconut oil to everyone" - products with natural ingredients too is a bonus!
Ami who tweets at @Beautyloves_ reminded of an old favourite "Body Shop body butters are great for keeping your skin moisturised so stops it from drying out in the colder weather"

Feeling happy, not SAD - With natural daylight diminishing in the mornings due to the onset of autumn lots of us suffer with our mental health because of these changes, I know we certainly do in our family, but what can we do about it? Many people swear by light boxes to help with seasonal mood disorders (SAD) and this is something Im going to look in to this year, if anyone use one I'd love to hear your thoughts on it. The NHS website also recommends eating well, sitting near windows when indoors and getting outside as much as possible in the day, so lots of autumnal walks on the beach and the country pack for us then! For more information on how to tackle this do check out their web pages on SAD.

Watching crappy TV - OK confession time! Firstly before I reveal this to you, you have to promise me won't judge me on this, ok? Promise? Uncross your fingers then! September always signals the start of our favourite TV shows and the big favourites in our house are Greys Anatomy and Supernatural - hey I told you not to judge! We have also just caught up on the Game of Thrones series, my OH is trying to convince me to watch Nashville and I am keen to start watching Once Upon time. Whether you like cheesy TV or movies or prefer something else having some down time to look forward to when the nights start to draw in can help you to feel relaxed and uplifted, what's your guilty TV pleasure? 

Feel Good Friday...

Here's something I learned a while ago that has really helped me pull through those black cloud moments, when everything seems pointless and I just want to hide under the bed covers - a feel better list or a "5 things to revive your soul" memo that gives you ideas for an instant boost.

This is how it works, when you feel well, pick 5 or so things (no more than 10) that you know will give you instant comfort and relief from feeling low, this could be painting toenails, calling your BFF or walking on the beach. Write them down at the back of your diary or pin them to your fridge, somewhere you can easily access them and when life is getting you down, go to your list and pick one that feels right for that moment and then do it, focus only on that activity, zone everything else out and just breath and be in that moment, chances are that soon your low point will pass and you will be feeling lighter again!

There is a rule here though, when you pick something from your list, although you may not quite feel like doing it, keep doing it for at least 5 minutes, if after that time you are not feeling it then change to something else, you will normally find though that even 5 minutes of something comforting can help to change your frame of mind and put a different spin on things.

So now I'm going to share 5 things from my revival list...

~ Reading, it can be anything, favorite book, trashy magazine or even a blog from one of my favorite bloggers just to help me feel relaxed and inspired again.

~ Bath, these are such a luxury for me and my OH is fab at keeping the world out of the bathroom so I'm left in peace to soak my troubles away.

~ Movie time, sometimes when I'm blue a good film with lots of laughs works wonders to lift my mood.

~ Starbucks, yes I know what your thinking but this honestly "perks" me up (sorry!) I'm sure a shot of caffeine helps here but so does just the physical act of getting out the house and having a change of scene. Being around other people and having a bit of social interaction helps me too, only if it's just to say Hi to the girl behind the counter (LC and I are regulars at ours so I think all the baristas know us now!).

~ Cake, sometimes a little bit of naughty is good for feeling comforting, for me it's good because we don't normally have it in the house so I have to leave to get some, again getting out the house is so good for me when I'm feeling isolated and down in the dumps and our local Waitrose has an amazing cake counter full of chocolate tiffin, marble cheesecake and lavender cupcakes, all which go along way to soothe my soul.

Hopefully if your feeling stuck this has given you some inspiration, even if you just have a few go to things or ideas that help, you can even designate a special box or place in your house to store anything you need to have to hand to help in these moments such as bubble bath, candles, book, blankets or cake even! 

So what would be on your revive list? Let me know by leaving a comment bellow...

In words we find comfort...

Today seems like a good day to make a gratitude list, you see despite the blue skies we have here things seemed rather grey this morning and my lust for life had all but disappeared. Illness, sleep deprivation, disorganisation and disappointment were all playing major parts in my life story and I was feeling achingly out of control, I really wanted to get back under the duvet and hide there all day! I couldn't though, I had commitments and responsibilities which I managed to drag myself onwards to do, but as I went about my morning something in me started to lift slightly, influenced by the thoughts and kindness of other, I started to think about all the things that made me smile, that I was thankful for and that I know were a sure positive in my life, so here is my gratitude list for today...

1. Well the sky is actually blue and there is lots of sunshine.
2. LC wanted lots of cuddles with me this morning, despite being grumpy.
3. I am going to London on Friday to spend time with lots of people I am very fond of, and I am sure to make some new friends too!
4. I am visiting the V&A museum on Sunday, a place I love and rarely go to these days.
5. I a mere 4 weeks we are off to Portugal!
6. People I love are getting married soon, I am so excited to be a part of their love stories!
7. We are really chasing our dream of moving to Canada, we are actually going for it!
8. I have lost 2 dress sizes in 4 months, I feel lighter and healthier.
9. My husbands kindness and understanding.
10. People around me, in many guises, who get what I'm going through...
11. That we were able to save the baby bird that our cat brought in this morning!
12. I have 4 hours to myself this afternoon...

Now that I've started I could actually go on, I realise that there is much to be appreciative for and writing a gratitude list really helps me to see this, sometimes we all need a bit of help finding the positives in life and writing it down is a useful way of doing it I think.

I also don't want to forget the people around me to who have, unbeknown to them, inspired me to do this today, just by by sharing conversation with them about how I'm feeling what's going on and general chit chat my mind has been provoked to think about some great things happening right here, right now in my life.

So in dedication to their kind spirit and comforting enthusiasm here is a some bedtime reading for tonight...

Twins Tiara's and Tantrums
City girl gone coastal
Mum Ramblings
Mission2Mum
MYCreative

I'm a great believer in Karma so I expect these ladies are all due some good fortune soon or at least something that comes their way to give them a smile...

Have you ever written a gratitude list? What do you do when you need to look on the sunnier side of life?
Do leave me a comment, I would be very thankful for that too!

Monday's Moment of Wisdom - Pearl Number 40

"To keep the body in good health is a duty...

otherwise we shall not be able to keep our mind strong and clear" - Buddha 

Over the weekend my health has slowly gone down hill, I'm not sure why, last week LC went away camping with her Grandparents for 3 days and we actually had 3 nights of full, uninterrupted sleep! It felt like heaven and the OH and I really indulged ourselves with lie-ins and breakfast in bed, we actually had the time before work. So after being so well rested I'm not sure why I then came down with a sore throat and a tickly chest on Friday afternoon, anyway it got worse over the weekend and by Sunday I was confined to my bed and the OH did a fabulous job in taking care of us all.

Being sick has just reinforced to me how run down I have become, it's hardly surprising over the last few months that my body has got over worked with loss, stress and comfort eating, then I lost lots of weight and I think it's just got its self in a pickle and started to give up! So not only do I need to be eating well to maintain my healthy new figure and to boost my chances with infertility as I have already mentioned in last weeks Feel Good Friday post, but also, simply so my body can function and my mind remain strong, I have so much I want to achieve, do, experience that having a healthy body and mind is paramount for this and even more importantly I need to be well for my family, our house goes in to chaos when I'm in my sick bed all day and it's especially unnerving for LC, she gets very worried now when we say I'm sick, even with a cold. 

This week then I will be looking at even more ways to eat myself to optimum health and reporting back to you with what I find, I would love to hear your healthy tips and ideas for eating well too so do leave me a comment below!   

Feel Good Friday - What I'm doing more of this month...

Well June is literally round the corner and I'm thinking lots about how I can get the best out of this month, so here are some things I will be dedicating my time, energy and thoughts to and doing more of this month!

Eating Well (and for fertility)...

The weather is promising to get a little better and I am always inspired to eat more healthily through the summer months, anyone who follows me on twitter (@karenspofw) knows that I have lost some weight lately after working really hard to get rid of what I put on being pregnant for a bit at the beginning of the year.

This has really kept me going and given me something positive to focus on, my skin has improved, I feel lighter and have more energy too and it really gives a boost to my mood, my whole family has ended up improving their diet as well, we are now a family of healthy eaters, so with a sun holiday looming I am committing myself to eating well for another month

I also want to improve my diet for fertility so, I will be:

Cutting out caffeine 

Eating more Salmon

Snacking on Pumpkin seeds

Embracing full fat milk (well a small glass a day) 

If you want to find out more about eating for fertility check out this website. To keep track of what we've been eating we have been following the Weight Watchers healthy eating plan - this is the only way I can loose weight comfortably and keep it off!

What helps you to eat well and keep healthy? Any tips?

Reading this...

I was actually introduced to the blogging world through parenting blogs, although I don't consider myself a "mummy blogger" (yes, I know I do feature my family a lot!), I do love catching up with some of them and reading stuff on parenting styles, influences, trends and opinions. It's reassuring to know that other mums are going through the same ups and downs as you and I love picking up new ideas and tips when it comes to raising my baby! One of the many favourites of mine out there is Mission2Mum written by a lovely lady called Gemma, she is stylish, so friendly and really puts you at ease in her company and is doing lots of good work supporting mums through her Mission2Mum clubs, do visit her blog for more information. I'm especially looking forward to having a girly catch up with her next week!

What's your favourite parenting blog, any recommendations? 

Me time...

I am VERY excited to be having 3 whole days in London this month to myself, yes, that's right no husband or baby, just me! I'm actually going to be hanging out with a sweet lady called Lisa (check out her awesome blog Twins, Tiaras and Tantrums) while we venture in to the world of Britmums Live together on June 21st/22nd. I know, I know I've just told you I don't consider myself a parenting blogger, but so many of the bloggers out there that I admire are and I am dying to meet them, share ideas, learn tips and just hang out. There will be loads of fun and interesting things happening at Britmums Live that I know I can take in to my own blogging experience and I am just simply thrilled to be doing something for me, as Karen not as someone's mummy or wife. I'm also going to use my 3rd night to catch up with a dear old school friend which will be exciting too, I fear the alcohol levels in my body will be high over this weekend!

Are you a blogger going to Britmums Live? What are you doing this month to get some "me time"? 

Wearing these...

This summer I have become a little infatuated with Pink, I can't get enough of it in my wardrobe and have been investing in some new pieces to wear, over the Bank Holiday weekend we took a trip to Cribbs Causeway Mall in Bristol so I could raid the rails of Gap, H&M and other such stores that I don't have the pleasure of shopping in regularly because of living in the middle of no where! I happened to discover these little beauties in H&M, in the kids section, for £7.99! Perks of having small feet! (You can read more about my small feet here)

Mindfulness...

Following on from last Fridays post, Mindfulness really is a great way of tackling anxiety and depression and it's something I don't do enough to help me through the difficult days. It can be a hard concept to get your head around and takes a bit of practice but can go a long way to helping you manage your low points. Interested? I'm not going to attempt to explain how to practice mindfulness, I'll leave it to the experts, check out this great website Be Mindful and if you're a parent suffering with, stress anxiety or depression Netmums have a brilliant information on mindfulness too. You can also practice Mindfulness Yoga here with this YouTube clip and read up more about it here.

Do you find time to be mindful? I'd love to know more on your experiences of this and all the things mentioned in this post, do leave me a comment, I love reading them!

Monday's Moment of Wisdom - Pearl Number 37

Photo by D. Cannon

I think it can be easy to fall in to the role of being a victim, I know I have done this in the past, many times and in many ways, it's easy to place the blame on to others and hold them responsible for your fears, misgivings or failures. Sometime you can find yourself in this role because someone has taken your confidence or self control away, you may find yourself stripped of a power you once possessed and this is a new place for you to be in. No matter how you find yourself here it can be tricky rut to get out of...

Victims of crime and abuse may find that a spirit they once felt, one that made them present or alive has left, that someone or something has taken this away, they feel helpless and finding that courage to move forward and break out of this patten is hard, some times impossible or just out of their reach. There are some really amazing people, organisation and books out there to help anyone who is this situation to find that courage inside again, reaching out is just the first step back to a life of being in control of you.

I think this is also true of people who are victims of their own doubts and fears that they place on themselves whether that be a phobia or a lack of self confidence, reaching inside and finding that power again can help them move forward, but it's not as easily said than done. So how do we find this courage and bring out the heroine or hero I ourselves?

Education I think holds the key, not necessarily going to school or being super smart, more like being street wise and learning about the world, investing time and energy in yourself, getting to know you, what you like or don't like, what you think is or isn't acceptable, knowing how your mind works and using that to keep going forward. I also find talking to others about your own and their own experiences helps you to learn, I am also a big fan of self help books although I know lots of people can be cynical about them. 

If you found yourself stuck in a place, physically, emotionally, mentally that caused you fear would you know how to escape, to get yourself out of it? Knowing this information and being brave enough to act on it is what turns us in to the true heroines of lives, well that's just my opinion anyway!

I'd love to know more about what encourages you to be brave in your life, are there any particular rituals, books or actions you take when you start to feel scared of what's happening around you? What would you say to someone else to inspire them to no longer be a victim?

Monday's Moment of Wisdom - Pearl Number 36

Over the last week I have been trying to reflect some inner peace, Anger has been welling up in me for a while, it has consumed my thoughts a little and been my primary emotion, I'm very Angry at what life has thrown at me lately and the knock on effects, my weight has been suffering, my skin has also, my health is completely run down, my emotions and hormones are all over the place and all of this has been, well mostly beyond my control, and as it turns out for no good reason at all and I'm struggling to see the point, so I have been feeling very Angry about it all.

I've come to realise that all this Anger is not good for me, emotionally I know I still need some time but physically I need to let some of this tension go or my body will never recover. so I've been try to I still some calm by introducing a few new changes which to my relief are working!

Gentle stretching - Pre - motherhood I used to love doing yoga, it was a bit of space in time for me. Now I find it impossible to fit in, with the demands of parenthood, work strange hours from home (although that's about to change) and living rurally, it's not so easy to pop out to a class. I've decided though that I need to do something and so I have been getting up a little earlier, LC has been sleeping in until 7-ish and I have been doing a few yoga positions that I can still remember. This has just made me feel so much better to start my day and given me a few minutes of inner peace and reflection to think about how my emotions feel and how I want my day to go...

Changing how I eat - I've really struggled with this since my final hospital appointment in February, I had really started to comfort eat and I knew I needed to overhaul my diet, I lost a good amount of weight at the end of last year and not only did I finally fit back in to my size 10 wardrobe but I felt better, more energised and my hair and skin were looking great. Now I'm up two dress sizes and just feel awful and frustrated with it all. In the last couple of weeks I've really worked on my diet, I've stuck to lose Weight Watchers plan and managed to lose 5lbs already and started fit back in to some of my regular clothes. It's been a struggle and I have had to really discipline and reason with myself, it's definitely been mind over matter but now I feel the benefits and I'm motivated to stick at it and just keep going!

Looking after my skin - Having two general anesthetics in the space of 4 weeks really beats the crap out your body, especially your skin and I felt like a spotty teenage again, almost 5 weeks on from the last one my skin is starting to resemble a thirty something's again and I'm feeling like I don't need to hide under layers of make up. To really help this I have been drinking lots of water and managed a cup of green tea most days (I like the ones that are flavoured with lemon or blueberry), a change in diet has really helped, swapping cakes for fruit always works wonder for my skin.

I know if I put more good stuff in to my body and make an effort to look after it I reap the benefits, I look better, feel better and this definitely has a knock on effect with my emotions. I have started to feel a bit more like me this last week or so and the changes have also seen my Anger melt away a bit too, which I'm sure makes me an easier person to be around. I don't want to spend all this time being cross at the world, I want to enjoy my family and my life and by letting myself be surrounded by a red haze, I won't be able to look clearly and positively into the future...

5 Feel Good Things to Brighten your Day!

It seems November is shaping up to be quite dreary and although the festivities of Christmas are on the horizon there is still another week or so to get through of this month so here are 5 ways that you can instantly feel good about your day...

1. Switch off the TV and run yourself a steamy bubble bath using your favourite bubbles and soak, maybe take a glass of wine and a book/magazine to accompany you?

2. Wear your most expensive, sexy underwear! Doesn't matter where you are going, having some thing that makes you feel good against your skin will give you a boost, whether it's windy, rainy or just chilly!

3. Phone a friend or your mum or anyone who makes you smile, even if its just to talk about nothing, having the chance to talk your cares away always help to unload the stress on your shoulders after a long day!

4. Get moving, whether this is chasing around a toddler, taking the stairs instead of the lift, doing a work out DVD or walking the dog. Managing even 10-15 mins of exercise can do wonders in boosting your mood and making you feel great, dancing round the kitchen in you underwear while making your morning coffee definitely counts too!

5. Have a Christmas movie night in preparation of the up coming season to be jolly! Maybe treat yourself to some chocolates, snuggle under a blanket on the sofa and just relax and get excited about Santa coming! What's your favourite Christmas movie?