Monday's Moment of Wisdom - Guest Pearl Number 47

Monday, 12 August 2013

its better to be happalone theunhappy with someone.
-Marilyn Monroe

Karen and I have become good blogging friends over the past year and although we had talked over the phone, we only met in person for the first time when we shared a room (and to our surprise a bed) at the Britmums live.
When she asked me if I would do a guest post to help her out I was flattered, but wasn't really sure where I would find the time to fit it in. You see I'm a single mum, but not just any single mum... I'm a single mum of four year old twin girls!
Their father and I split when they had just turned one year old, and unfortunately, I have had to pretty much bring them up alone. It has been tough at times but I'm very lucky to have a very strong network of friends and although my family live 90 minutes away, his family have stepped up and been a fantastic support to me.
I know there is still a stigma attached to single mothers, but I'm certainly not ashamed to be one! In fact, I am very proud to have had the strength to get out of a destructive relationship. I didn't want my girls being brought up in an environment of fighting and arguing, so I did something about it. I never WANTED to be a single mum, but it happened and now I have to do the best I can.
I personally think life is about making the best of a bad situation and turning things around to suit you. I know I'm a lot happier now than I was back then, and therefore that makes the girls happier too. Of course, there are times when I get frustrated that there is no one coming home at the end of the day to help. There is no one for me to share the ups and the downs with, the first steps and the milestones, the problems and the laughs.
On the other hand there is no one to answer to, I can watch what I want on TV and cook what I want for dinner. There are no towels left on the bathroom floor, or toilet seats left up in the night for me to fall down.
My life has changed dramatically in the last four years and there is a lot I have to go without, but I still try to find some "me time" it's just different now... Instead of going out with friends, I will invite them around for dinner. I don't get to go out at the weekends, but I will order myself a Chinese, pour myself a glass of wine, light my candles and watch a good DVD.
Being a single mother doesn't mean you can't enjoy your life, it just means you need to tweak it a little to make it work for you. I have two very happy and healthy little girls, who love their mummy more than life itself. That is enough for me to know that the decision I made was the right one!  

Lisa works part time for herself and livse in the South of England with her two girls, you can read more about her adventures in love, life and parenthood at Twins, Tiaras and Tantrums  you can also follow Lisa on Twitter on @twinstiarasblog

1 comment:

  1. the big guy works away a lot so I can feel your pain, if only a little, have two wee ones is hard work no doubt about it, but I love that they are best of buddies too.

    You are a strong woman to make the decision you did and you seem to continue to drive forward, it was just me and my mum for while in the beginning and she is all I needed, you are all your girls need x x