Monday's Moment of Wisdom - Pearl Number 36

Over the last week I have been trying to reflect some inner peace, Anger has been welling up in me for a while, it has consumed my thoughts a little and been my primary emotion, I'm very Angry at what life has thrown at me lately and the knock on effects, my weight has been suffering, my skin has also, my health is completely run down, my emotions and hormones are all over the place and all of this has been, well mostly beyond my control, and as it turns out for no good reason at all and I'm struggling to see the point, so I have been feeling very Angry about it all.

I've come to realise that all this Anger is not good for me, emotionally I know I still need some time but physically I need to let some of this tension go or my body will never recover. so I've been try to I still some calm by introducing a few new changes which to my relief are working!

Gentle stretching - Pre - motherhood I used to love doing yoga, it was a bit of space in time for me. Now I find it impossible to fit in, with the demands of parenthood, work strange hours from home (although that's about to change) and living rurally, it's not so easy to pop out to a class. I've decided though that I need to do something and so I have been getting up a little earlier, LC has been sleeping in until 7-ish and I have been doing a few yoga positions that I can still remember. This has just made me feel so much better to start my day and given me a few minutes of inner peace and reflection to think about how my emotions feel and how I want my day to go...

Changing how I eat - I've really struggled with this since my final hospital appointment in February, I had really started to comfort eat and I knew I needed to overhaul my diet, I lost a good amount of weight at the end of last year and not only did I finally fit back in to my size 10 wardrobe but I felt better, more energised and my hair and skin were looking great. Now I'm up two dress sizes and just feel awful and frustrated with it all. In the last couple of weeks I've really worked on my diet, I've stuck to lose Weight Watchers plan and managed to lose 5lbs already and started fit back in to some of my regular clothes. It's been a struggle and I have had to really discipline and reason with myself, it's definitely been mind over matter but now I feel the benefits and I'm motivated to stick at it and just keep going!

Looking after my skin - Having two general anesthetics in the space of 4 weeks really beats the crap out your body, especially your skin and I felt like a spotty teenage again, almost 5 weeks on from the last one my skin is starting to resemble a thirty something's again and I'm feeling like I don't need to hide under layers of make up. To really help this I have been drinking lots of water and managed a cup of green tea most days (I like the ones that are flavoured with lemon or blueberry), a change in diet has really helped, swapping cakes for fruit always works wonder for my skin.

I know if I put more good stuff in to my body and make an effort to look after it I reap the benefits, I look better, feel better and this definitely has a knock on effect with my emotions. I have started to feel a bit more like me this last week or so and the changes have also seen my Anger melt away a bit too, which I'm sure makes me an easier person to be around. I don't want to spend all this time being cross at the world, I want to enjoy my family and my life and by letting myself be surrounded by a red haze, I won't be able to look clearly and positively into the future...