Hate Change? How to make it work for you

The secret of Change is to focus all of you not fighting the old but accepting the new - Socrates

Change is inevitable, and it can be healthy and positive depending on your view or reaction of it, but if change normally feels like your enemy rather than your best friend then maybe it's time you took a different view on your relationship with it? 

It's time to learn how to let changes in life, no matter how big or small, become something you don't mind hanging out with! Read on to discover why change can be good for you and some easy, feel good ways to let it in...

Monday's Moment of Wisdom - Pearl Number 76

Courage doesn't always roar, 

sometimes it's the quiet voice at the end of the day whispering 'I will try again tomorrow
― Mary Anne Radmacher

Wow - this couldn't be more powerful for me right now! It feels like I'm trying to juggle a lot at the moment, new baby, preschooler and her ever grow schedule of parties and activities, a new house, my poor neglected blog, Christmas prep all while still trying to make sure my relationship gets a look in, just reading that sentence makes me want to crawl back to bed...

Mondays Moment of Wisdom - Pearl Number 71

There are far, far better things ahead than any we leave behind. - C.S. Lewis

Well you can say that again! We are really moving forward at a fast pace this year, there is now something on the horizon that's very exciting for our family, this will be happening before Little Miss Cannon number two arrives too!

We really are leaving behind a lot of our past this year and forging ahead in to new territory and it definitely feels like the best thing we could be doing, what a huge difference a year will make to us!

So what's on your horizon?

Now that the warm weather is finally here and you can start planning the summer months are you ready to leave something behind? Are you ready to embrace all the new possibilities that your life could throw your way?

If you are a fan of astrology you will know that all of these Lunar Eclipses lately have helped to put to rest the old, tired things of the past that no longer serve you and is opening up some new energy that may drive you forward to what you have been dreaming, imagining and manifesting lately.

Sounds like just the thing I need, how about you? 

Do share your plans and projects below, I'd love to know what you're getting up to!

Through her looking glass... Heather Von St James

Heather and her daughter Lilly

  Apart from feeling really cross with myself for not getting this post up last week, I am delighted to introduce you to a lady who I know you will feel just as amazed and inspired by as I am. Heather Von St James is a true survivor and I have had the pleasure to get to know her a little over the last few weeks, Heather contacted me asking if I could help raise awareness of Mesothelioma and the use of Asbestos, Heather lives in America where it is still currently legal to use asbestos which is the cause of the illness she has suffered and fought after being given only 15 months to live. Her story is truly an inspiration and you can read more here

 

Heather has kindly agreed to share her more about her life and her wisdom and is next person to be featured in my  "Through Her Looking Glass.." series, I hope you enjoy today's interview.

Question 1

How do you start your day? Can you tell us more about the first 3 things you have to do to get your day started? 

It depends on the day of the week. On the days my husband works, I get to wake him up at 5:55 am, and then crawl into bed until 7:30. On days he doesn't work, I stay in bed until 7:30 and I then get my kiddo up, love on the dogs and cats. I usually snuggle the kiddo for awhile, then crawl out of bed and start the day. The next thing is, I make beeline to the Keurig coffee maker to brew a strong cup of coffee. I can't function until I have that first sip of steaming coffee. After dropping Lily off at school, I generally take a trip to Starbucks.  That is a typical start to my day. 

Question 2

Share your favourite piece of wisdom and why it means something to you.

''Life is a banquet, and most poor suckers are starving to death"  It is a quote from my favorite movie, Auntie Mame.  I like it so much I had it tattooed on my left arm- it covers pretty much my entire arm. It really embodies what I think about life. So many people get caught up in the petty small things, that they don't see all that life has to offer them! I take joy in everything. I feel and embrace all my emotion- I laugh, I cry, I love life. I try not to let the trivial things bother me because in the big picture does it really matter if Starbucks messed up my order? No, it's just coffee and can be fixed. It is the way I approach everything. 

Question 3

What is your go to thing for comfort when it all gets to much? 

My bedroom and my bed. It is my refuge. We recently remodeled our bedroom and made it a lovely, airy room. I have a huge, king size bed and I love expensive sheets. When I am having a down day, (yes, they do happen!) I crawl in bed and turn on something funny on TV. I find I usually feel better after awhile.

Question 4

Who are the women that inspire you?

Number one is my Mom. She is one of the most wise, strong, and loving women I know. I admire everything about her. She is who she is because of her tremendous faith. I strive to be more like her. She has a heart as big as all outdoors and is the best role model I could ever ask for. I'm truly blessed to have her as my mom.

Linda Reinstein from The Asbestos Disease awareness Organization is another woman whom I admire to no end. She lost her husband to mesothelioma 8 years ago, and has made it her life's mission to educate people on the dangers of asbestos. She is a mighty powerhouse and am so honored to call her friend. 

Question 5

How do you see yourself and what makes up your sense of identity?  

I wear many hats. But what doesn't change is the person wearing those hats.  I'm a mom. a wife, a survivor, a motivator and inspiration.. I love to help people and really want to make a difference.  My sense of identity ? Hmm.. physically it is my hair, and my tattoos.. I have the trademark white faux hawk, and both arm covered in colorful tattoos.. But what sets me apart is probably my quiet confidence and my ability to tell the truth to people. What you see with me is what you get.. I have no hidden agenda.. but there will always be a part of me that still sees the awkward 8th grader who was a little overweight, had crooked teeth and bad hair when I look in the mirror.. I sometimes surprise myself at what looks back. I'm a bit of a goofball, and try not to take things too seriously. I'm an optimist, and I think that shines through in all I do, 

Question 6

Do you have a favourite dish or recipe that makes you feel good or gives you a much needed boost?

My dad used to make this stuff called sauerkraut bread. It sounds horrible but it is soooo good. You take bread dough, roll it out into a big circle, and on the inside, spread sauerkraut and Italian sausage mixed together, add salt and pepper, roll it up and then bake it. My dad recently passed away, so I need to learn to make it if I ever want it again. 

Question 7

What's challenging you right now?

Dealing with the loss of my Dad. It's still so fresh. He passed away on February 27th, the day after his birthday. He was only 71. He was diagnosed with clear cell renal carcinoma back in November during a surgery to fuse some vertebrae. By the time they found the cancer, it was everywhere. He went very fast, and for that I am thankful, but wow I miss him. There is a huge hole in my life. Everyday is a new emotion surrounding his loss. I'm learning how to deal with it, and I know it will get easier. I do know I'm relieved he is no longer suffering. My dad was loved by many, many people, and I will always cherish those last days that we got to spend together. I was with him, holding his hand when he passed away.

Question 8 

Tell us more about your latest or next project.

Right now, Asbestos Awareness Week is going on, and I am inviting people to donate their social media status to help bring about awareness. Asbestos is still NOT banned in the US and is being imported and used every day. It is so dangerous and causes such suffering. There needs to be stricter regulations on the substance and an all and all ban. That is going on right now.

As far as other future projects, I'm thinking of a book. It is something that has been in the back of my mind for a few years, and perhaps this is the year I decide to actually do it. 

 

You can find out more about Mesothelioma and read Heather's blog at Mesothelioma.com

You can also connect with Heather on Twitter and Google+ and her Facebook page

If you want to know more about Mesothelioma and live in the UK then do check out the Mesothelioma UK website 

 

 I'd love to hear your thoughts on today's post and Heather's courageous story so do leave a comment below! 

Mondays Moment of Wisdom - Pearl Number 66

“Be thankful for what you have; you'll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don't have, you will never, ever have enough” ― Oprah Winfrey

I love a good quote from Oprah, she always makes so much sense and doesn't dance around the truth or reality. I remember years ago when her show was shown on Channel 4 (remember that?), I was stuck in a bad relationship, making excuse for why I wouldn't or couldn't leave and I was at home watching her show on toxic relationships and self love while I ironed my boyfriend clothes and thought to myself "What the hell are you doing here?!" Cue me in tears and nodding my head along to the testaments of women who had also lost their way in a less that happy relationship. I realised then with the power of Oprah that my self worth was not being honoured by what was happening around me, although it took me another year to finally leave...

Other people's words can be so powerful sometimes, they can strike to the heart of the matter when you can't seem to stop bumbling along with something. This quote does just that for me, I'm big fan of practicing grattitude, reflecting on what is happening for me in the here and now giving it some merit but sometimes like many things in life I forget to honour the good things going on for me in life each day, being reminded by someone else words give me that little kick up the bum to see the good in each moment when I get caught up in the should ofs and could ofs and the what ifs.

What are you grateful for today?

Do you have a favourite quotes that inspires you to live your best life each day?

Share below...

Monday's Moments of Wisdom - Pearl Number 58

I came across this quote again at the weekend, it's one of my favourites!

Last week felt like a bit of a start to a journey for me, I can't really tell you why but something in me just clicked, all I can say is that I feel like I a have a bright light inside of me glowing outwards and it feels amazing - for once I feel completely uplifted and full of joy - about everything and anything!

Though people around me are a bit surprised to hear this, after months of battling with my emotions it feels like I'm on top of it all a bit! Some days it's brighter than others but it just feels like a relief to feel good about life, myself and the future...

I can't guarentee them or myself how long this will last, a while I hope, it doesn't feel like it's going away anytime soon. I think it has come from months of really working hard on how I feel and what I can do to keep myself lifted and moving forward, I wasn't sure I was making progress but in the last week I've had a chance to really reflect on the last year and I've realised how far I've come in the last 12 months despite A LOT of adversity and now I see that those dark and negative experiences can only make myself and my life better and more richer in the long run.

It's helped to have a few good people around me, supporting me and believing that at some point I would find this place, so this week I have made a step, quite a big step actually in really loving who I am and my world around me and I am so excited to see what this new journey has in store for me...

Taking steps to start a new journey can be hard, what helps to make this possible? What hurdles need to be overcome and what expectations are there? Knowing what drives you really helps I think! 

Mondays Moment of Wisdom - Pearl Number 57

Lately, I seem to be talking to lots of women about loneliness, it seems these ladies have families, work acquaintances, maybe old school friends they keep in touch with through Facebook, but no one they can say they have a real connection with. We all want friends around us, a family who we are bonded with and generally people in out lives to share moments with whether they are good or bad, having network of others who mean something and who we can spend our time with is very imporatnt and goes towards us feeling contented and valued. For many of people out there though this network of friendship and support is none existent and leaves many feeling isolated.

Some people love their own company, and believe me there are times when I love to have some proper "me" time to get a coffee, read a magazine or browse round the shops all by myself but I can find it difficult when I'm stuck by myself all day with no one to talk to, often I have my little side kick LC with me but there's nothing like a good gossip with a friend or a chat with your significant other at the end of the day. A lot of people are lacking this though even in this day and age of social media, face time and unlimited texting and have no idea how to reach out and meet others.

I can remember a time when I sat cold and lonely in my grotty beds it in my early twenties feeling rather down and out, I hadn't a clue how to connect with others, most of my school friends had moved away and I had made a few friends at work but no one I really connected with. I wish I knew then what I did now, that I didn't have to sit there alone, that there were ways to get myself out in to the world and find others like me, my tribe!

Of course now that we have Facebook, Twitter and Instagram to name a few it's much easier to start connecting to others, although you may find like me, a lot of people don't understand the friendships you can make through social media, I have though made some amazing real life friends this way who I couldn't imagine not knowing now. I certainly wouldn't cynical about connecting with others this way.

I also think that there is such a sense of community in our towns and villages now and it is a lot easier to get involved with local committees and groups in your own backyard just by simply visiting your local community centre, church or notice board at the supermarket and have a look at what's going on.

Maybe there's a book club or a walking group you could sign up to? A slimming group or exercise class or possibly you could volunteer for a local charity, these are all great ways of exploring your passions, you couldn't even get brave and start your own club or group. Another way is to meet up with other like minded people is to learn a new skill, perhaps you've always wanted to learn to knit or take great photographs, checking out your local adult learning centre will open you up to a new world of possibilities!

Now I know some people will cringe at the thought of putting themselves out there, walking in to a room of strangers or tremble at the notion of trying something new. When you lack confidence or self belief it's hard to be open to new experiences but I guarentee that someone else there will be or would of had the same feelings dread and know exactly how it feels. It's also worth considering that a room full of strangers will know nothing about a new person who might turn up that week, so we can be who ever we want to be, they can't see how nervous we are inside even if we can feel it, to them it's a new face, a new person to talk to and get to know, not the fear that's bubbling. By pushing that fear aside or just putting it in a box somewhere for a minute it gives way to great and exciting new things ahead.

I believe that what put out there is what we will get back, if we put out a signals of a friendly, genuine and eager person, we will attract those kind of people back, the kind we can build relationships with, discover new passions with and feel connected with.

Have you ever put yourself out on a limb and made a new friend?

Do you have a great idea for meeting new people?

How have you tackled loneliness or isolation in the past?

I'd love to hear your thoughts on this weeks Pearl of Wisdom 

Mondays Moment of Wisdom - Pearl Number 55

“The girl in the mirror wasn't who I wanted to be and her life wasn't the one I wanted to have.” 

― Francesca Lia Block, Pink Smog

Wow! Many a time this thought has crossed my mind, is it a familiar one for you too?

My question to you today though is, what are we going to do about it?

You can spend all the time you want looking in the mirror and reflecting back those negative thoughts, wishing, dreaming and hoping for you, for your life to be different but it won't change itself...

The only thing that can truly change it all, that can make a difference, that conjour up the life you want, is that girl in the mirror, what will she do today, tomorrow, next week or next month to make it happen?

Making a change, taking those first steps are scary but when you do it anyway and push yourself forward, believe you can achieve it, dare to dream it, truly feel it and go for what you want, no judgement, no doubt just pure passion and drive, you'll look in the mirror as start to see the life you love and that girl was the genius who created it! 

So, what are you going to do to make it happen? 

Monday's Moment of Wisdom - Pearl Number 54

“You will find that it is necessary to let things go; simply for the reason that they are heavy. So let them go, let go of them. I tie no weights to my ankles.” ― C. JoyBell C.

Today's moment of wisdom is going to focus on the weight we all carry around that constantly brings us down. We all have that weight hang off of us, whether it's a project that leaves us unfulfilled, a relationship that isn't giving us what we deserve, a job that leads us in the wrong direction, a commitment that's too much to handle, a feeling/emotion that's full of negativity or simply something, somewhere, in your life, that is no longer bringing you joy or happiness, it becomes the hardest load for us to carry and puts a lot of unnecessary pressure on our well being...

If you're sat here reading this and feel yourself thinking of a particular thing, you know a scenario, event or ongoing situation that pops in to your mind then this pearl of wisdom is for you and I urge you to start thinking instead of how you can put that weight down, let it go, wave it off in to the sunset. 

For some of you the thought of putting that weight down is actually scary and it may take some time to find the time, space or courage to release it but even taking the first step of just imagining how lighter your life may be will hopefully lead you to the next step of making a plan of how to go about it.

This week I have had to put down some of the weight that was burdening me, that's why there has been a little break in the blog, I've had to make an effort to finish a few started projects and deal with some uncomfortable feelings all of which were bringing me stress, sadness and anxiety. When I took the time to release the weight of these issues I found myself relaxing, visualising new opportunities and revitalising some healthy habits, feeling like my true self again.

So what's weighing heavy on your mind this week, anything bring you down? Are you having trouble letting go of that weight or have you successfully released it already? Tell me more below...

Monday's Moment of Wisdom - Pearl Number 51

I have been sick this last week, an early autumn cold or a late summer one, anyway either way you see it believe me it was no fun and I took to my sick bed for a few days! (Although I did manage to get out again for champagne and theatre fun to celebrate my SIL's upcoming wedding!) Now that I have successfully passed my germs on to Miss LC poor love, I am suffering with another type of sickness, the broken hearted kind. You see its all a bit difficult this week, an anniversary, a moment in time I don't really wish to acknowledge or comprehend, something that should of been so different for us. Anyway, I'm going to heal my broken heart with a little help from my darling husband who shows now end of kindness and understanding and my sweet girl who is very proud and excited to be turning 3 on Friday! She is our tiny miracle and shinning light in all of this...

This week going I'm to find the strength, the courage and the power to take care of me because I know inside that with the love from others around me I will and to anyone else facing a tough week, something they would rather forget or wished was different... be kind to yourself, be patient with yourself, know that it will not always be this way.

P.S - I promise no more sad posts this month, lots and lots of lovely and exciting celebration posts coming up!

Mondays Moment of Wisdom - Pearl Number 45

"Sometimes good things fall apart, so better things can fall together" - Marilyn Monroe

I love finding these little pearls of wisdom that really mean something to my life. This one means a lot to me and I'm trying hard to apply it's meaning to my life right now. If you read my blog regularly or follow me on twitter or Instagram you'll know that me and my little family have just been on holiday and it was a much needed and deserved break. My OH booked a luxury five star stay in Portugal as a treat to make up for our heartache over losing our pregnancy earlier on in the year and it has really helped these last couple of weeks having this break to look forward to.

We left for the airport in the middle of the night, LC woke up when we did and got very excited while we all got ready to go, she slept a bit in the car on the way but considering the lack of sleep she had had she was amazingly well behaved at the airport, on the plane and generally for the first 3 days of our trip whilst we stayed in the first hotel in the city of Faro which is beautiful by the way. We found the locals so friendly and helpful and just enjoyed shopping, eating and lazing round the pool in the sunshine. On our last night there we went to an open air concert, LC loved it and surprisingly fell asleep in the middle of it all in her stroller! OH and I got very drunk and danced the night away with each other which is something we rarely have the chance to do these days, it was magical and so fun!

The next day we moved on to the Hilton resort with hideous hangovers and that's when it all started to unravel a bit, as you can imagine we felt awful, dehydrated in hot weather and had to wait 3 hours to check in so we just vegged out on the huge sofas in the lobby. LC coped with her parents being hungover very well but it was no fun for her, poor baby and we felt rubbish about wasting a day then to top it off my period which was two days late reared its ugly head which obviously for someone who is hoping to have another baby was not well received...

The 3 days following became quite odd and I lapsed a bit into a funk, I felt moody about about my time of the month, a princess was having a baby and the whole world was celebrating, people announced pregnancies on Facebook and to top things off there we several heavily pregnant mums sat round the pool in their bikinis serving as a constant reminder of what I didn't have and after almost two and a half years of trying, just couldn't achieve...

As always my wonderful OH took care of me, he gave me space to think while he went swimming with LC who just adored having several swimming pools to choose from each day. He made me laugh, he held me tight when I needed to cry and he let me pour my heart out when I wanted to talk. He also helped me to put myself back together again, look to the future and most importantly inspired me to start enjoying our holiday once more, which I did. In the time I had to lounge around while they swam I read and read so much about healing, mindfulness, fertility and moving on from feeling low and I have come across some ideas that have really stuck with me. One decision I have made is to actually start writing more about my experiences with secondary infertility and miscarriage, in the past a few people have encouraged me to write on my blog about this but I have always felt there was never a place for it here BUT now I'm starting to feel that there is, more than anything I just feel now that the processes of doing this will really help me to heal a bit, so from time to time I will be posting more on this and I hope maybe, it may help others too. I have also decided to take control of my future fertility and I am excited to be going to see a fertility specialist next week so more on this coming soon!

So in the end, after I fell apart a bit, I found a way, with a bit of help to pull myself together and our holiday started to go great again. We got upgraded to an apartment suite when we checked in at the Hilton which was so lovely and we really made the most of it. I bought some beautiful jewellery from the local boutiques, we made friends with another family and we left feeling relaxed and invigorated but also inspired and positive about really going for the things we want, we made some decisions about the next steps in our immigration plan and what may come next and came up with some ideas on how to balance our chaotic lives a bit better, now I can honestly say I'm feeling excited and motivated!

Unfortunately I did bring a tummy bug home though so I've spent the weekend getting over that but I think a little bit of extra rest has done me some good. So now it's time to see how all those better things will fall together as I have this tingly feeling inside that the next half of this year will really start to get good again! 

In words we find comfort...

Today seems like a good day to make a gratitude list, you see despite the blue skies we have here things seemed rather grey this morning and my lust for life had all but disappeared. Illness, sleep deprivation, disorganisation and disappointment were all playing major parts in my life story and I was feeling achingly out of control, I really wanted to get back under the duvet and hide there all day! I couldn't though, I had commitments and responsibilities which I managed to drag myself onwards to do, but as I went about my morning something in me started to lift slightly, influenced by the thoughts and kindness of other, I started to think about all the things that made me smile, that I was thankful for and that I know were a sure positive in my life, so here is my gratitude list for today...

1. Well the sky is actually blue and there is lots of sunshine.
2. LC wanted lots of cuddles with me this morning, despite being grumpy.
3. I am going to London on Friday to spend time with lots of people I am very fond of, and I am sure to make some new friends too!
4. I am visiting the V&A museum on Sunday, a place I love and rarely go to these days.
5. I a mere 4 weeks we are off to Portugal!
6. People I love are getting married soon, I am so excited to be a part of their love stories!
7. We are really chasing our dream of moving to Canada, we are actually going for it!
8. I have lost 2 dress sizes in 4 months, I feel lighter and healthier.
9. My husbands kindness and understanding.
10. People around me, in many guises, who get what I'm going through...
11. That we were able to save the baby bird that our cat brought in this morning!
12. I have 4 hours to myself this afternoon...

Now that I've started I could actually go on, I realise that there is much to be appreciative for and writing a gratitude list really helps me to see this, sometimes we all need a bit of help finding the positives in life and writing it down is a useful way of doing it I think.

I also don't want to forget the people around me to who have, unbeknown to them, inspired me to do this today, just by by sharing conversation with them about how I'm feeling what's going on and general chit chat my mind has been provoked to think about some great things happening right here, right now in my life.

So in dedication to their kind spirit and comforting enthusiasm here is a some bedtime reading for tonight...

Twins Tiara's and Tantrums
City girl gone coastal
Mum Ramblings
Mission2Mum
MYCreative

I'm a great believer in Karma so I expect these ladies are all due some good fortune soon or at least something that comes their way to give them a smile...

Have you ever written a gratitude list? What do you do when you need to look on the sunnier side of life?
Do leave me a comment, I would be very thankful for that too!

A weekend post: being brave, making connections!

It seems that certain themes have been flowing through my life over the last couple of weeks, healthy eating for one but also friendship and a couple of weeks ago I wrote about long standing friendships and what impact they have on shaping how you manage life's ups and downs and today I am touching on the subject of friendship again.

Normally I would of posted a Feel Good Friday post yesterday but I've spent a couple of days up North being a busy lady and having a rare chance to socialise without my husband or toddler in tow! But what was even more special about this time was the new connections that blossomed from it! So today a weekend post for you with some thoughts and inspiration on friendships new....

I was very lucky to attend the Mission2Mum Club Event on Thursday night and I was introduced to some fabulous ladies and got to look at some lovely products including Keungzai and Party Pickles (both run by very friendly, inspiring, hard working women!) A great night was had by all and our host Gemma Guscott worked really hard to make the whole event go smoothly and what a great job she did! I really enjoyed getting an exclusive look at everything there but what I came away with that was more valuable to me was new friendships. I attended the vent on my own and as I was driving there I have to admit I felt a bit anxious, obviously I knew Gemma, but no one else. I had visions of me standing alone in the corner with my virgin cocktail (I was driving) staring off in to space and looking like a lost sheep! I needn't worry because my lovely friend introduced me straight away to some very talented and easy going ladies who actually found me interesting company (I hope!) and spent more time chatting away than looking a all the lovely stuff that was on offer! At the end of the night I felt I had really clicked with the ladies I met and left with what might new friendships to enjoy in the future. Here are some photo's I took from the night, although they aren't the best, I was too busy having fun!

 

Reflecting back over my time away I am so glad I put myself out there, if I hadn't gone I wouldn't of found new products I love or had the chance to make some genuine new connections, it was nerve wracking and I could of bottled out at the last minute but I sat in my car and thought to myself what's the worse that can happen, I'll have a drink, look at some bits and then if no ones talks to me I can at least enjoy the fact that I got out the house in clean clothes, make up done and just had some time to myself. Anyway, I had the best time and proved to myself that you just never know what's out there waiting for you and seizing opportunities can lead to new experiences, friendships made and exciting times ahead! 

Modelling her fairy accessories from Party Pickles!

So if you find yourself in a similar situation I urge you to seize the moment and go for it, the world is full opportunities to meet new friends, you just have to let yourself be brave enough to reach out! 

I'd love to hear about a new friend in your life, how you met or why you connected, leave me a comment below! 

Monday's Moment of Wisdom - Pearl Number 37

Photo by D. Cannon

I think it can be easy to fall in to the role of being a victim, I know I have done this in the past, many times and in many ways, it's easy to place the blame on to others and hold them responsible for your fears, misgivings or failures. Sometime you can find yourself in this role because someone has taken your confidence or self control away, you may find yourself stripped of a power you once possessed and this is a new place for you to be in. No matter how you find yourself here it can be tricky rut to get out of...

Victims of crime and abuse may find that a spirit they once felt, one that made them present or alive has left, that someone or something has taken this away, they feel helpless and finding that courage to move forward and break out of this patten is hard, some times impossible or just out of their reach. There are some really amazing people, organisation and books out there to help anyone who is this situation to find that courage inside again, reaching out is just the first step back to a life of being in control of you.

I think this is also true of people who are victims of their own doubts and fears that they place on themselves whether that be a phobia or a lack of self confidence, reaching inside and finding that power again can help them move forward, but it's not as easily said than done. So how do we find this courage and bring out the heroine or hero I ourselves?

Education I think holds the key, not necessarily going to school or being super smart, more like being street wise and learning about the world, investing time and energy in yourself, getting to know you, what you like or don't like, what you think is or isn't acceptable, knowing how your mind works and using that to keep going forward. I also find talking to others about your own and their own experiences helps you to learn, I am also a big fan of self help books although I know lots of people can be cynical about them. 

If you found yourself stuck in a place, physically, emotionally, mentally that caused you fear would you know how to escape, to get yourself out of it? Knowing this information and being brave enough to act on it is what turns us in to the true heroines of lives, well that's just my opinion anyway!

I'd love to know more about what encourages you to be brave in your life, are there any particular rituals, books or actions you take when you start to feel scared of what's happening around you? What would you say to someone else to inspire them to no longer be a victim?