It's all about Me! (And you!)

Wednesday, 13 November 2013

So if you have been reading my blog this month you will know that I am on a bit of a quest to feel good about life this Autumn and not let those winter blues creep in. There are many things I am putting in place to keep me smiling but one of the most important things that I truly need to ensure I have is time for me, with out this, I will go bat shit CRAZY (ask my husband, he can vouch for this!)

I know lots of lovely people who actually find it quite hard to have some time for themselves, either they feel guilty, they are workaholics or they simple can not mange their time and over load themselves with commitments.

So how about you? 
Do you find time to indulge and invest your energies in to you?
Maybe this seems strange or uncomfortable?
Maybe the concept of doing something for yourself seems alien or maybe you find excuses not to because you don't like your own company, you don't know what to do with this time to yourself?

Last Monday's I talked about reaching out to find new connections to avoid being alone, this is important as loneliness can suddenly appear without you noticing and we all need to have a solid network of people around us who keep us moving forward and feeling lifted but a bit of alone time is healthy too and certainly learning to not feel scared or awkward about time with yourself is a positive thing.

I've known a few people go rushing in to relationships or stay in bad ones because the thought of being on their own is too scary. 
I've known a few people who have constantly said yes and over stretched themselves because they don't see that their time to themselves is precious and must come first. 
I've known a few people who have the important job of caring for others but were unable to see that taking care of their own well-being before others would help them be a better carer.
I've known a few people who will busy themselves with every other aspect of life to avoid being on their own because the feeling and thought of it strikes terror and anxiety through them.
I've known a few people who are very alone and on their own and are so sad by this that they can't see a way out of it, the feeling of being on their own is a negative sinking one instead of an uplifting positive one...

Do you recognise yourself in there at all? I know I have fitted in to one of these in the past.

So, how do we get some of this precious "me" time and how can we celebrate it, cherish it and truly thrive through it? Well here is some of my top tips for making the most of your time alone and letting it become something enjoyable and uplifting.

Plan how you are going to spend it. Sometimes I waste my alone time because I don't think about what I want to do with it or get out of it. Have a think about what you really want from it it will ensure it's a really quality time for you, especially if you feel nervous about being on your own. It could be anything from reading a good book, to gardening, booking yourself in to a spa or taking a day trip to a museum.

Schedule a regular time. This may feel weird at first but you know how you make appointments for the dentist, arrange a meeting or book your car in for an MOT? Do the same with your "me" time, write in your diary, on your calendar, to do list or kitchen chalkboard. This way you and everyone else knows when it's happening, make sure it stays non negotiable and that everyone knows this!

If you find you have an unexpected spare 10 mins, half an hour or day, whatever it is, have a mental list of go to things you like doing or want to do to fill these, you could even write them down somewhere safe where you can refer to them when you need to.

Relax in to it. If you are one of these people who finds alone time difficult, awkward or unnerving, boring even then finding a way to enjoy it is important. If it's guilt that's holding you back then spend some time exploring why you think you don't deserve it, write it down, reflect on it, what would you say to someone else who was in your shoes?

Does being on your own makes you uncomfortable? Think about all the things you are passionate about and see if you can use your "me" time to expand on them by either reading, learning or participating. Not sure what makes you tick? Use this time to discover more about yourself, do you like fashion, bird watching or biophysics? Are you a visual person? What is your signature dish? Did you have a favourite subject at school? Is their a cause close to your heart? There is so much out there in this big wide world, how can you embrace it? What help or support would you need to find out?

All these questions will lead you to a place of finding out more about you and enjoying your "me" time.

And if it's anxiety or lack of confidence that gets in the way remember to take smalls steps, one at a time!

Mindfulness will make you feel more present and enjoy the time for what it is!

Do you have any more top tips about getting the most out of time with yourself?
Or maybe you want to know more about how to enjoy your alone time?
Well, then leave me a comment below, I'd love to hear from you!

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