Lately, I seem to be talking to lots of women about loneliness, it seems these ladies have families, work acquaintances, maybe old school friends they keep in touch with through Facebook, but no one they can say they have a real connection with. We all want friends around us, a family who we are bonded with and generally people in out lives to share moments with whether they are good or bad, having network of others who mean something and who we can spend our time with is very imporatnt and goes towards us feeling contented and valued. For many of people out there though this network of friendship and support is none existent and leaves many feeling isolated.
Some people love their own company, and believe me there are times when I love to have some proper "me" time to get a coffee, read a magazine or browse round the shops all by myself but I can find it difficult when I'm stuck by myself all day with no one to talk to, often I have my little side kick LC with me but there's nothing like a good gossip with a friend or a chat with your significant other at the end of the day. A lot of people are lacking this though even in this day and age of social media, face time and unlimited texting and have no idea how to reach out and meet others.
I can remember a time when I sat cold and lonely in my grotty beds it in my early twenties feeling rather down and out, I hadn't a clue how to connect with others, most of my school friends had moved away and I had made a few friends at work but no one I really connected with. I wish I knew then what I did now, that I didn't have to sit there alone, that there were ways to get myself out in to the world and find others like me, my tribe!
Of course now that we have Facebook, Twitter and Instagram to name a few it's much easier to start connecting to others, although you may find like me, a lot of people don't understand the friendships you can make through social media, I have though made some amazing real life friends this way who I couldn't imagine not knowing now. I certainly wouldn't cynical about connecting with others this way.
I also think that there is such a sense of community in our towns and villages now and it is a lot easier to get involved with local committees and groups in your own backyard just by simply visiting your local community centre, church or notice board at the supermarket and have a look at what's going on.
Maybe there's a book club or a walking group you could sign up to? A slimming group or exercise class or possibly you could volunteer for a local charity, these are all great ways of exploring your passions, you couldn't even get brave and start your own club or group. Another way is to meet up with other like minded people is to learn a new skill, perhaps you've always wanted to learn to knit or take great photographs, checking out your local adult learning centre will open you up to a new world of possibilities!
Now I know some people will cringe at the thought of putting themselves out there, walking in to a room of strangers or tremble at the notion of trying something new. When you lack confidence or self belief it's hard to be open to new experiences but I guarentee that someone else there will be or would of had the same feelings dread and know exactly how it feels. It's also worth considering that a room full of strangers will know nothing about a new person who might turn up that week, so we can be who ever we want to be, they can't see how nervous we are inside even if we can feel it, to them it's a new face, a new person to talk to and get to know, not the fear that's bubbling. By pushing that fear aside or just putting it in a box somewhere for a minute it gives way to great and exciting new things ahead.
I believe that what put out there is what we will get back, if we put out a signals of a friendly, genuine and eager person, we will attract those kind of people back, the kind we can build relationships with, discover new passions with and feel connected with.
Have you ever put yourself out on a limb and made a new friend?
Do you have a great idea for meeting new people?
How have you tackled loneliness or isolation in the past?
I'd love to hear your thoughts on this weeks Pearl of Wisdom
